Rule # One:
Don't get caught!
Your heart is pounding so hard that you believe it may explode. It fills your ears with the sound of its hammering pattern but you press on. You take the key out of its place and you slip it into the lock. "If I get caught..." you trail off thinking. At every turn you prepare a statement to tell someone if you do get caught. "I was just closing it up. I saw that it was left open." "I was told to get something for him so he let me use his key." At 1 am? Sure. Honestly, you are preparing for something that in the end you would be so terrified of that you would stutter and lose all conviction. You open the door. Crap, well you can't turn back now. You have to do it. You slip into the office as fast as possible and quietly shut the door behind you. You lean against the door while your heart eases its pace. "Holy shit..."
When you commit you first real act of deviance you will know it. It is something that will scare the bejesus out of you and probably have you wanting to run back to your room to hide under the covers, safe and warm. But if you go about it correctly (which I didn't), you won't want to run. Sticking to your plan, you will complete the task and get out safe. I got better with time.
I really just took a leap of faith when I did this. I was thinking about the exams I had coming up and thinking about how I just didn't want to do any of them. I saw an opening and just went for it. That was a mistake. The whole time you are involved in your task, when you aren't prepared, you are living a nightmare. Your are wondering, "When do the cleaning ladies come up here? Did I miss them already? Will campus safety come up here? Are there any professors still in their offices? Will they see the light if I turn it on? I better leave it off. Will they see my phone if I use that to light my way? What If someone knocks? How am I supposed to find this? They don't just keep them lying around, but he's messy. Maybe he does." You stop dead in your tracks and think, "what was that?" You listen closely to the area beyond the closed door...nothing. Phew.
This little adventure is causing your body so much stress because there are so many variables you did not plan for. In fact, the whole thing you didn't plan for so if you aren't extremely careful, you are fucked. Sometimes, if we think like the show "The Road Runner," you can plan all you want and still things can go wrong. Thats when you have to decide if what you are planning is worth it. I normally say yes to everything. After all, who am I afraid of and what can that person do to me? A slap on the rist for a first time offense? Get kicked out of school? We do only have one life if I recall correctly and I'm not sure if I would care too much if I had to go to school somewhere else? As long as I'm not going to jail, I consider my projects worth it.
Slipping that finger between your collar and your skin you think, "ahh it's getting pretty hot in here."
Your nerves will try to get the best of you, especially if you are new to this. Slow down and think.
I slipped into that office and got even more scared. There were so many things to think about and I didn't know how to go about them. I didn't even know where to start. He had mentioned that his tests were already printed up. Hmmm...
I started with his desk. I riffled through his papers with no certain tactic then halfway through I thought, "Will he notice if his papers aren't in the exact same place that he left them?" I continued my paper search and was convinced that he would notice. Every paper was laid back in the order that he had them and his desk drawers were only partially touched. I couldn't' think. He is a messy man. Of course he wouldn't realize that someone else had moved them. He left everything everywhere and I mean everywhere.
After I had no luck in or on top of his desk, I moved to the filing cabinet. I opened and closed it in such a hurry that I didn't think that it was the most likely place for an old test to be located. I quickly moved on and moved the mouse on his computer. Boom! The light filled the room and I had a mini heart attack. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! I listened closely to the empty space outside the door. I waited and let my heart relax into its freaked out pattern and continued. Where should I look? Will he notice if the webpage that occupied the screen or the sequence of the pages was distorted? I dared to look at his email but feared it. The most irrational thing crossed my mind. "This is an invasion of privacy, I can't look at his email!" Monroe! Your broke into his office! Everything you are doing is an invasion of privacy! I didn't look through his email. That was a mistake. I would have found the exam right there, sent to the printing department of the school to be printed for the next day. I kept going. I tried to remember the sequence of pages and then opened the computer search. I searched for many things that I thought would give me what I needed. I found it after several minutes. It was dated from a few years back so I couldn't be sure it was the same but who changes an exam too much when they already have one written up? That would just be silly to create extra work for yourself.
I hoped that my deviance wouldn't be wasted so I used my phone to take pictures of the exam, page by page. I didn't want to print it because I would need to exit the office, re-enter the office, and it could create a paper trail. Yuck. I tried to put everything back in place and then I went to the door. I pressed my ear against it and listened. It didn't sound like anyone was out there. I cracked the door and escaped into the brightly lit room that held freedom and success. I played it cool and left the building and freaked out as soon as I was in my room.
I did not get caught, I got a 98% on the exam, and I felt like a god...for a little bit. Adrenaline like that is fantastic but don't let it get to your head. The line between risk taker and arrogance is a thin one. I could have been caught at any moment and so could you.
After that experience, I began to take more precaution. I planned and prepared as much as possible and never repeated the act of deviance. Once was enough to feel it and when you get comfortable with something you get cocky.
Dare to be brave. Dare to be awesome! Dare to be a bad ass mother fucker.
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